When It Comes To Kids, Gifts Are About Thought — Not Things
Gift giving for children isn’t about how much they receive, but the thought, intention, and care behind it.
When It Comes to Kids, Gifts Are About Thought — Not Things
As the holidays approach, conversations around gift giving seem to get louder. There’s an unspoken pressure to buy more, spend more, and somehow make everything feel bigger and better — especially when it comes to children. It’s easy to start wondering if what we’re doing is enough, or if the number of gifts under the tree somehow reflects the kind of parent we are.
But over time, I’ve come to believe that gift giving for children has very little to do with money or quantity. What matters most isn’t how much they receive, but the thought behind it — the intention, the care, and the feeling of being seen.
Every year around the holidays, that familiar pressure can quietly build. It can turn into a comparison game: how many gifts, how big they are, how much they cost, and whether it’s “enough.” As parents, it’s easy to feel like the value of the holiday somehow gets measured by what’s under the tree.
And yet, when I think back on childhood — and now watch my own children experience the holidays — it’s clear that what stays with them isn’t the amount. It’s how they felt in those moments.
It’s Easy to Feel the Pressure
Between social media, store displays, and well-meaning conversations, gift giving can start to feel overwhelming. There’s a subtle message that more is better — more presents, more excitement, more wow-factor. Even when we know that isn’t true, it’s hard not to absorb it.
As parents, we want our children to feel loved and special. That desire is real and good. But it can sometimes get tangled up with the idea that love is proven through how much we buy, instead of how thoughtfully we give.
What Children Actually Respond To
Children don’t understand price tags. They don’t measure generosity in numbers. What they respond to is intention.
They notice when a gift reflects who they are — their interests, their comfort items, the things that make them feel seen. A favorite book read together, something that encourages imagination, or even a simple item tied to a shared memory can hold far more meaning than a pile of expensive toys.
Often, it’s the thought behind the gift that lingers long after the wrapping paper is gone.
Fewer Gifts, More Meaning
There’s something grounding about choosing gifts with intention rather than excess. It creates space to slow down and really consider what will bring joy, comfort, or curiosity into a child’s life.
Fewer gifts doesn’t mean less excitement. In many ways, it creates more — more appreciation, more focus, and more room for connection. It also teaches children, gently and over time, that value isn’t tied to quantity.
The Moments Around the Gifts
Some of the most meaningful parts of gift giving don’t happen when a present is opened, but in the moments surrounding it. Sitting together, watching their reaction, sharing the excitement, and being present in that moment.
Those are the memories that last.
The gift becomes part of a larger experience — one rooted in attention, warmth, and togetherness
A Different Way to Look at Giving
This season, I’m reminding myself that gift giving doesn’t need to be extravagant to be meaningful. It doesn’t need to impress anyone else. It just needs to come from a place of care.
A thoughtful gift, no matter how small, carries a message: I see you. I know you. I love you.
And that message is worth far more than anything money can buy.
Valerye Defehr
I quickly became a mother of three under three, and I would never change that for the world. I am forever grateful that God has provided me with an ever-loving husband and three small humans to share our life values with.
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About Me
Hey there! I’m a stay-at-home mom of 3 under 3 who juggles daily life and navigates the chaos. Join me as we learn to love the craziness of motherhood and everything that it throws at us.
