Slowing Down This Holiday Season: A Gentle Reminder for Moms
The holiday season can feel overwhelming for moms. This is a gentle reminder to slow down, release expectations, and focus on what truly matters.
Slowing Down This Holiday Season
The holidays always seem to arrive faster than I expect. One minute the year still feels open and unhurried, and the next the calendar is filling up, decorations start coming out, and there’s a quiet pressure to make everything feel special. It’s a season full of meaning and nostalgia, but it can also feel surprisingly loud.
As a mom, the holiday season often feels heavier in ways I don’t always anticipate. There are traditions to think about, plans to coordinate, and an unspoken expectation to create moments that feel magical — not just for everyone else, but for myself, too. Even when the excitement is there, it’s easy to feel pulled in a dozen different directions.
This year, I’ve found myself wanting something a little different. Less rushing. Less pressure to do everything the “right” way. More space to slow down and actually be present in the season as it’s happening. I don’t want to look back and realize I was so busy trying to keep up that I missed the quiet, meaningful moments in between.
So as the holidays approach, I’m intentionally reminding myself to pause. To breathe. To let this season unfold without forcing it to be perfect, and to focus more on how it feels than how it looks.
The Weight of Holiday Expectations
Somewhere along the way, the holidays started to come with a lot of expectations. Some are spoken, some are quietly assumed, and some we place on ourselves without even realizing it. There’s an idea of how this season should look — the decorated home, the full calendar, the meaningful traditions carried out just right.
For moms especially, it can feel like so much of the holiday experience rests on our shoulders. We’re thinking ahead, planning details, trying to make everything feel special while still keeping up with everyday life. Even when it comes from a place of love, it can feel overwhelming.
Social media doesn’t always help. It’s easy to scroll and feel like everyone else has it figured out — the perfect balance of festive, calm, and joyful. But behind the scenes, most of us are doing the same thing: juggling, adjusting, and hoping we’re doing enough.
I’ve been reminding myself that the pressure to make everything perfect isn’t where the meaning of the season lives. The holidays don’t need to look a certain way to be meaningful. They just need space for connection, presence, and a little grace.
Letting Go of Perfect
I’m learning that so much of the pressure I feel during the holidays comes from the idea that things need to be done a certain way. That traditions have to look exactly like they always have, that every moment needs to feel special, and that somehow it’s all a reflection of how well I’m doing.
But perfection is exhausting. And more often than not, it’s the thing that pulls me out of the moment instead of grounding me in it.
Letting go of perfect has looked like small, quiet choices. It’s deciding that it’s okay if decorations go up slowly, or if they stay simple. It’s giving myself permission to choose ease over doing more, and to trust that less can still be meaningful.
Some days that means skipping things I thought I “should” do. Other days it means embracing the mess and the noise and the unfinished parts. I’m realizing that the holidays don’t need to be carefully curated to be memorable.
The moments that stay with me aren’t the flawless ones. They’re the ordinary, imperfect moments — the laughter, the pauses, the togetherness — the ones that happen when I stop trying to make everything just right and allow the season to be what it is.
Choosing What Matters Most
As I let go of the need for everything to be perfect, I’ve been asking myself a simpler question: what actually matters most to me during this season?
When I strip away the noise, the expectations, and the endless to‑do lists, the answer feels surprisingly clear. I want the holidays to feel calm in our home. I want space for connection, for unhurried moments, and for being together without constantly thinking about what comes next.
Choosing what matters most has meant being more intentional with my time and energy. It’s meant saying no to things that add stress, even if they’re well‑intentioned. It’s meant simplifying plans, lowering expectations, and reminding myself that it’s okay if everything doesn’t get done.
I’m learning that presence is more valuable than productivity this time of year. That slowing down creates room for the moments that can’t be planned — the conversations, the laughter, the quiet evenings that end up meaning more than anything on a checklist.
This season, I’m choosing connection over comparison, rest over rushing, and grace over pressure. Not because I’ve figured it all out, but because these are the things that make the holidays feel like home.
A Gentle Reminder
If this season feels heavy, you’re not alone. If the holidays feel different than you imagined, that’s okay too. There’s no single way this time of year is supposed to look, and there’s no checklist that determines whether you’re doing it “right.”
It’s easy to feel behind — behind on plans, behind on traditions, behind on creating moments that feel meaningful. But the truth is, the holidays aren’t something to keep up with. They’re something to move through slowly, in whatever way fits your life right now.
This is your reminder that it’s okay to rest. It’s okay to simplify. It’s okay to let some things go and hold onto what feels manageable and true for you.
The magic of the holidays doesn’t come from how much you do or how perfect everything looks. It comes from the love, care, and intention you bring into your home — even on the messy, imperfect days.
As this season unfolds, I hope you give yourself grace. The kind that allows you to slow down, breathe deeply, and remember that simply showing up, as you are, is more than enough.
Valerye Defehr
I quickly became a mother of three under three, and I would never change that for the world. I am forever grateful that God has provided me with an ever-loving husband and three small humans to share our life values with.
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About Me
Hey there! I’m a stay-at-home mom of 3 under 3 who juggles daily life and navigates the chaos. Join me as we learn to love the craziness of motherhood and everything that it throws at us.
